Memorization

I often have 'panic' moments when thinking of our wedding day.  I panic because I do not do well when all the attention is on me in a room full of people.  It wouldn't matter if there was only 20 people vs 200 people...I just don't feel comfortable.  Some people find that strange considering I often do very embarrassing things in public to draw attention to myself...to me it's different though because when I am in public doing something weird or crazy (which is often)...strangers look @ me...probably think I am a crazy lady and then forget about me.  When I am going to be doing some sort of public speaking or I know the attention is on myself before it happens...I freak out.  That brings to me why I panic thinking of the wedding day.

I worry about walking down the aisle with EVERYONE looking @ me.  What if I fall...what if I don't smile...what if I have an 'ugly' cry moment.  On top of feeling nervous about walking down the aisle, we have to memorize our vows and the words for exchanging of the rings.  WHAT?!?!  I am going to be so nervous that day and then our priest wants us to memorize these very important words.  My biggest fear is forgetting them or saying them wrong.  That is why 3+ months out...we have posted them to our mirror in our bathrom to see everyday and memorize for the big day.  I pretty much already have it memorized...but I will still read them everday.  Tate and I quiz eachother to see if we know what to say.  I do not want to mess up or forget these very important words.  I am a bit of a 'planner' so starting to memorize these 3+ months out is not out of the norm...I am actually surprised I did not do this sooner :)