I had my melt down last night...where I could have just cried for hours. I just had hit a point from doing SO much since my husband is currently recovering from surgery. From being single mom 95% of the time (huge praise to you mamas out there that do it all alone...I don't know how), to getting everything ready for baby, to cleaning...food prep, etc...I just hit my wall and needed a good cry. A good cry is what I did.
After talking to Tate about it all and him making me feel better...a Target run and talk with my BFF is what was needed. So at 8:30 last night I left to go walk the aisles of Target and it was so therapeutic. I found a couple super cute mirrors for the nursery that were on clearance (SCORE), picked out ice cream and got a few other items all while chatting with my bestie.
After reflecting on this all...I came that I really need to accept that everything is not going to be 'perfect'. In reality...I know my house, marriage, life are not perfect. Nothing is. But to me...I always was trying to find this time that it would all be perfect to me. The point where the house is sparkling clean and there was no dog hair anywhere, Turner was being his lil' perfect self and my husband was home cooking dinner or building me something ;)
What is perfect is that I have my family with me under one roof. I have a husband who is the most patient human ever (seriously...he has to be to deal with some of my stuff) and gives me constant support even though he doesn't always verbalize it to me...I have my health and my family has their health. I have a beautiful miracle growing inside of me and a dog that loves all of us even though she has been not getting much attention as she would like. My life is perfect to me. God has blessed me immensely.
Being super OCD and type A like myself...accepting that things will not always fall into place on my schedule or how I would like it to takes some time. I don't expect me to be OK with everything overnight. It's going to take constant prayer.
Acceptance that the house will be a mess most of the time, that dog hair will scatter the floors, that repeat meals and leftovers will happen frequently and that the nursery may not be done before this baby arrives is happening. Taking it one day at a time and just 'breathing' is all I can do. Continuing to talk to God through prayer will happen daily. Soaking in every moment with Turner as my only child for just a little bit longer will happen more frequently and learning to just let go of things will constantly be reminded to me through this post.
So to you other ladies out there that feel the same way, know that you are not alone. Everyone has their own struggles. Learning to accept those struggles, talk about and work through them is what helps. Things that I have learned that have helped me are...prayer, working out (especially yoga which I hope to start up after baby), NOT reading the news since the media likes to splash every negative story imaginable, staying positive even in moments that you find it hard and surrounding yourself with those you love that are positive. Life is way too short.
I posted this recently to my Instagram and it's the most real life picture I ever posted. Honestly, it was also the best picture out of the group. Turner throwing a tantrum because mama isn't holding him (he's a total mama's boy right now), Tate's injury and me big and preggo trying to keep it together :)
Also...if you find yourself sulking from looking at other peoples IG pictures/Facebook posts or what they write on their blog thinking that persons life is 'perfect', stop it. We can all get sucked into that mindset and it's not OK. The struggles are real for everyone even if they don't share it. I can promise you that. So if you find yourself doing that, give yourself a social media break and see how you feel. You will be amazed what can come when not scrolling through your phone.
Happy Friday!!!!
XOXO,
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