Acceptance

My life is not perfect (shocking...I know). I honestly hope those that read this don't think from my post, pictures, etc that my life is. I am a huge ball of mess in my head most of the time. I do strive each and ever day to be positive despite the negative world we all live in that the media loves to broadcast.

I had my melt down last night...where I could have just cried for hours. I just had hit a point from doing SO much since my husband is currently recovering from surgery. From being single mom 95% of the time (huge praise to you mamas out there that do it all alone...I don't know how), to getting everything ready for baby, to cleaning...food prep, etc...I just hit my wall and needed a good cry. A good cry is what I did.

After talking to Tate about it all and him making me feel better...a Target run and talk with my BFF is what was needed. So at 8:30 last night I left to go walk the aisles of Target and it was so therapeutic. I found a couple super cute mirrors for the nursery that were on clearance (SCORE), picked out ice cream and got a few other items all while chatting with my bestie.

After reflecting on this all...I came that I really need to accept that everything is not going to be 'perfect'. In reality...I know my house, marriage, life are not perfect. Nothing is. But to me...I always was trying to find this time that it would all be perfect to me. The point where the house is sparkling clean and there was no dog hair anywhere, Turner was being his lil' perfect self and my husband was home cooking dinner or building me something ;)

What is perfect is that I have my family with me under one roof. I have a husband who is the most patient human ever (seriously...he has to be to deal with some of my stuff) and gives me constant support even though he doesn't always verbalize it to me...I have my health and my family has their health. I have a beautiful miracle growing inside of me and a dog that loves all of us even though she has been not getting much attention as she would like. My life is perfect to me. God has blessed me immensely.

Being super OCD and type A like myself...accepting that things will not always fall into place on my schedule or how I would like it to takes some time. I don't expect me to be OK with everything overnight. It's going to take constant prayer.

Acceptance that the house will be a mess most of the time, that dog hair will scatter the floors, that repeat meals and leftovers will happen frequently and that the nursery may not be done before this baby arrives is happening. Taking it one day at a time and just 'breathing' is all I can do. Continuing to talk to God through prayer will happen daily. Soaking in every moment with Turner as my only child for just a little bit longer will happen more frequently and learning to just let go of things will constantly be reminded to me through this post.

So to you other ladies out there that feel the same way, know that you are not alone. Everyone has their own struggles. Learning to accept those struggles, talk about and work through them is what helps. Things that I have learned that have helped me are...prayer, working out (especially yoga which I hope to start up after baby), NOT reading the news since the media likes to splash every negative story imaginable, staying positive even in moments that you find it hard and surrounding yourself with those you love that are positive. Life is way too short.

I posted this recently to my Instagram and it's the most real life picture I ever posted. Honestly, it was also the best picture out of the group. Turner throwing a tantrum because mama isn't holding him (he's a total mama's boy right now), Tate's injury and me big and preggo trying to keep it together :)

Also...if you find yourself sulking from looking at other peoples IG pictures/Facebook posts or what they write on their blog thinking that persons life is 'perfect', stop it. We can all get sucked into that mindset and it's not OK. The struggles are real for everyone even if they don't share it. I can promise you that. So if you find yourself doing that, give yourself a social media break and see how you feel. You will be amazed what can come when not scrolling through your phone.

Happy Friday!!!!

XOXO,

First Mother's Day

I love being a Mother and I love that there is a dedicated to honoring this. In prior years, I was a fur-mama, mama hopeful, mama to be and this year, I am a 'mum' (Turner loves loves loves to say Mum)!!

I woke up and did my normal routine since I pump before Turner wakes up...not sleeping in for me yet. Turner has been getting up earlier and earlier it seems because of it being light outside...darker curtains may be needed. I was great with the sweetest card ever...

Tate got up and ran to Kwik Trip to get my favorite cinnamon rolls and hot cocoa (total cheat day for food)!!! We had plans to go shopping for 'big boy' car seats for Turner as we have been putting it off for a very long time and he just seems to be a bit too big for his current car seat (and seems to be hating it also).

Headed over to Buy Buy Baby since it was close to where we would have lunch and Trader Joe's for some grocery shopping.

We had lots of fun shopping for these. I learned many things and it seemed that Turner was more comfortable sitting in these type vs being shoved into his infant one.

After shopping, we went to Chili's for lunch and to discuss car seat options. We had bottomless chips and salsa, fajitas and some good margaritas!!! It was delicious. Turner had fun flirting with the 5 year old girls @ the table next to us (oh gosh...it's started already). 

After lunch, we hit up Trader Joe's to get the rest of our meal planning weekly groceries. Turner and Tate stayed in the car since Turner fell asleep. We got home and T woke up and we decided to go for a family walk since the weather was gorgeous.

We ended the day with Tate making me dinner and Turner gifted me with the Fitbit Flex. I am SO EXCITED to use this!!! Anybody else have it...any tips?!?! Let's be Fitbit friends...at least that's what I hear people are :)

I had a perfect Mother's Day! This boy brings so much joy in my life...I am beyond blessed and lucky to be him Mum!!!

Balancing it all

This whole working mom thing...is hard. It was even hard being a stay @ home mom for the 12 weeks I was on maternity leave. I feel like I just expect too much out of myself. It's not anyone else expecting anything...well except Turner expecting me to feed him and be the best mama I can be too him.

I have these high expectations that the house should always be clean and 'perfect'. I seriously feel a calm come over me when it is...but trying to keep up with that plus being somewhat of a single mom during the fall is draining (Tate's coaching football and usually doesn't get home until Turner's in bed).

It doesn't help that I have now come to hates Mya's shedding ways...I'll hate it even more when Turner is mobile. Now that the season has finally changed, I think it's calmed down a bit...but it still drives me crazy.

I'm still learning on how to balance it all right now. I feel like once I figure it out is when Tate will be done coaching and will have him back full time! Isn't that how is it with kids....once you figure it out, time to change it up again :)

Here is a glimpse of the day...

5:30 am 
Alarm goes off and I am up to get ready before Turner wakes up
Hopefully he is still sleeping...if not, Tate snuggles/plays with him until 6

6-7 am
Nurse Turner, get him ready for the day, pump anything else out that he didn't eat since I look like Dolly Parton in the morning.

7-7:15 am
Leave for work

7:30 am - 4:15 pm
Work. Pump 3 times through out the day. 3 days a week I try to hit up the gym during lunch
(just for lifting...no cardio as I don't want to sweat since I have to go back to work).

5-5:30 pm
Get home from picking up Turner

5:30 - 6 pm
Play with my lil' guy!

6-6:30 pm
Nurse or feed him a bottle, then pump if bottle option was picked or forced ;)

6:30-7:30 pm
Bath time, read books, play, etc.

7:30 pm
Bed time for Turner

7:30-9:30 pm
Here is my 2 hours of the day to get anything I need to get done. It usually consist of making & eating dinner, showering, cleaning/picking up the house, making lunches for the next day, laundry/diapers, spend time with Tate if he's home (& he helps out with all things that need to be done from above).

9:30 pm
Wake Turner to feed him another bottle, change diaper and then put right back to bed to sleep

9:45 pm
Pump

10:30 pm
Bed time

Tate will usually do the 9:30 feeding since he doesn't get to see him much through out the day. Sometime I like to do it. I actually love doing all things for Turner since my time through out the day is so limited with him, but I know I need to share so Daddy can have time with him also.

The thing I struggle with is writing down my list of things I want to get done...and then getting mad at myself for not getting any of it done. I'll put so much on there that's not physically possible to get it all done...but of course I would love to!

I have found that in order to 'balance' it all, I need to learn to let things go. Who cares if the house is dirty. Who cares that the office still isn't organized and hasn't been for 6 months. Turner is only this small for once. I need to keep reminding myself this and know that these things don't matter to him at all. He just wants his mom to be there for him!

So being there for him is what I am going to do. So you decide to come visit and dog hair is on the floor, the house looks like it hasn't been dusted for weeks and dishes are piling up...it's because I have a baby...a baby who needs his mama more than the house needing to be cleaned!

It's the life of a mom and a life I wouldn't want any other way!

Linking up with Kristin with baby talk Tuesday!!!

Worst day EVER

Today is the day I have dreaded for the last 80 days (yes...Turner is 80 days old today)!

I am a pretty positive person and like this blog to be pretty positive as well...but today is a day I would like to complain and not sugar coat anything!

I miss my buddy! Today is his first day @ daycare and even though he left the house smiling and Tate dropped him off and he was so excited...I still cry thinking I don't get to spend every waking moment with him.

I cried when Tate left, I cried on my way to work and now I cry sitting in my office writing this and pumping!

Everyone says it will get better...and I know it will! I just know today and tomorrow will be hard and probably next week since that will be my first full week back!

I'm grateful I have a job and we have an amazing person taking care of Turner...but that doesn't mean I don't miss him and want to be around to see all his smiling face!

Yesterday I tried to soak in every ounce of him! For one of his naps...we laid together on the couch. He had already fallen asleep and I just was starting to drift off...enjoying every second of it...when our stupid smoke detector decided to inform me that it had a low battery. HOW ANNOYING! I brushed it off thinking it will go off again in a few hours...NOPE!! Went off again a minute later and then another minute later.

Woke me up, woke Turner up and made Mya go in a frenzy.

So that ruined that moment because I had to get up and change the battery and Turner wasn't all about napping anymore then.

So I guess when I pick him up in the evenings and weekends...our time together is so much more precious! I can't wait to pick him up and hope he's super excited to see his mama!

 

 Note to any other new mama's out there who go back...there is no point in wearing makeup your first day back...it will all come off anyway!!!

PS...is it 4 yet?

  

My top newborn items

Turner is 7 weeks old and in that short amount of time, I have fallen in love with a few of our baby items and I thought I would share my top items!!!

 

 

1. Bright Starts Spots & Stripes Safari Gym - Turner LOVES this thing! We are on this thing everyday, multiple times a day. If you follow me on Instagram (@lifeasbridget21), you have probably seen many photos and even videos of him on this thing. He loves hitting and kicking the items! I am beyond happy this item was gifted to us!!
 

2. Halo SleepSack Swaddle - These things are AWESOME! We were given 3 newborn size swaddles from the hospital (1 in my room, 2 from the NICU), 1 size small as a gift and 3 other type of swaddles. These are great because our lil' guy is pretty strong and can break out a blanket swaddle no problem and these are made with Velcro so he can't bust out.  These are great in helping babies sleep so that their limbs don't wake them up.
 

3. AngelCare Deluxe Movement and Sound Monitor - This helps parents sleep better at night. I don't have to worry if he's not breathing because this picks up his movement and if there is 20 seconds of no movement, then an alarm goes off. We had a couple false alarms the first week because we had the sensitivity too low, but since we moved it, no false alarms. The sound monitor portion is obviously great also so we as parents can go outside or other parts of the house and still know he's OK in his nursery.
 

4. Graco Pack-n-Play - Turner slept in the bassinet for the first few weeks of his life. Even though he doesn't sleep in this anymore, we love this thing for travel purposes. Since he is still small, we don't pack up the whole thing, we just take out the bassinet portion and bring that with for him to sleep in. We put it between us in the bed. We've traveled so much since he was born and will use it again this weekend for wedding #3 that we will be attending with him. Once he outgrows the bassinet, we will then pack up the whole pack-n-play and bring that with for traveling.

5. Medela Dual Electric Breast Pump - This isn't the exact one I have because mine was purchased from a medical supply store since my insurance covered it, but it is a Medela brand and is a dual electric pump. Having a pump allows mom to have a life outside of feeding baby. I was able to be a bridesmaid in a wedding when Turner was just 2 weeks old. I pumped every time Tate would text me that he was feeding Turner. We continue to feed Turner one bottle a day and I pump during that time. I will also be using the pump all day when I return to work.

 

6. Boppy Pillow - This thing is great for breastfeeding. I used it a lot at the beginning. After a few weeks, I had to try to breastfeed without it because I knew there would be times I would have to feed  him and not have the pillow, so I stopped using it for a bit. Now that I feel like I can breastfeed him with and without it, I use it at home to make feeding easier on me and more comfortable for him.

 

7. SnugaBunny Swing - Turner really likes his swing but is not reliant on it. We use it if he wakes from his nap early and need him to go back to sleep. We just put him in it and back to sleep he goes. We also use it to keep him occupied if we are eating dinner or doing other things that require both hands and can't hold him! 

Do you have any newborn items that you LOVE that I should try?!?!

Linking up again for Baby Talk Tuesday with Kristin.
 

 

 

 

ABC's of motherhood

I received a plaque with the 'ABC's OF MOTHERHOOD' as a baby shower gift and I have it displayed in Turner's nursery. I see it and read it during night feedings as it sits on the table next to the glider. I love reading them all and love having the constant reminders.

 

ASK FOR HELP!

BE PROUD OF THEM

CALL A BABYSITTER

DISCOVER JOY

EAT BIRTHDAY CAKE

FIND TIME

GIVE THEM A ROAD MAP

HONOR INDIVIDUALITY

INSPIRE!

JUST LISTEN

KISS THEM GOODNIGHT

LET THEM GO

MEET THEIR FREINDS

NURTURE KINDNESS

ORDER TAKE OUT

PAY ATTENTION

QUIET FEARS

READ TO THEM

SET HIGH STANDARDS

TIP THE TOOTH FAIRY

USE HAND SANITIZER

VALUE OPINIONS

WEAR HEELS

EXPLAIN THE IMPORTANT STUFF

SAY "I LOVE YOU"

BE AMAZED

 

 

 Linking up with Kristin for Baby Talk!!!!